Monday, July 21, 2008

'Not today!'

Saturday morning, little B. and T. in the bed, and the conversation turns to my illness. 

"Daddy is sick."

"No he isn't!"

"Daddy has cancer."

"Not today!"

I love that. Some of it was the mix of defiance and resigned hopefulness in her sweet four-year-old voice, which I can't capture here. But I also loved the idea of taking a break from cancer -- not forever, as beautiful as that would be, but just for a day. And indeed, after a disastrous trip to the farmer's market (think humidity, accidental/on-purpose doughnut stepping, squabbling in every possible family dyad and tearful disagreement over raspberry lemonade) we decided to double-down with another outing and went to the beach. It was great. For a few hours I pretty much forgot about being sick.

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