Monday, May 18, 2009

Not good

The CT showed a number of specific changes to my lungs -- they've formed a variety of pits and nodules -- including the collapse of my recently re-operated on right lung. They also found growth in the tumor on my hip muscle and growing lymph nodes up along my spine, which may explain why I've had a such a terrible time in terms of pain and mobility over the last few weeks.

They had already called the drug company when we went in to discuss these results and, indeed, I was taking the placebo. So now I will see if the real drug can do anything for me. Perhaps it can -- I certainly was doing a whole lot better on drug (if only for a little while) than without it.

I was feeling lousy before the news, and now I feel worse: hearing it seems to have (temporarily, damn it!) drained the well of optimism, strength and BS I use to get through this whole thing. Yes, I'll absorb this and move on and learn how to manage the symptoms better, but right now I can barely function.

7 comments:

wsr1 said...

Oh shit! So sorry.

Anonymous said...

Keep fighting the good fight, SG.

Anonymous said...

This sucks, what can I say. Sutent doesn't seem any better but I know being on something at least feels like we're doing something. Someone recently reminded me of how much of an impact we can have on other people's lives. And each day is a chance to be with your wife and kids and love them a little more. Keep that incredible spirit of yours up. You've already made such a great impact on so many lives.

Josh

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear about this SG. I really hope the drug will start kicking some sarcoma ass quickly and that your pain begins to ease.

pat said...

Everything they said and more.

Darwin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Darwin said...

This is just fucking OUTRAGEOUS that the FDA allows this shit to happen!! UNREAL.

I truly hope you get well and get well soon. The FDA needs to take their heads out of their asses with these ridiculous trials!