Ooof

For some reason, this hit me like a punch in the gut. A post on the Sarcoma Alliance bulletin board lamented how difficult it is to wait for results of various sorts of tests. A no-brainer, right? We all hate the waiting game. But Olga, a prolific and highly knowledgeable poster there, began her reply this way:

Re: Hating the Waiting

by Olga on Mon May 18, 2009 4:59 pm

Gail,

for many on this board the waiting time is all time they have - and paradoxically it might be the best time that they have left before they start treatments or they get the bad news so I strongly suggest to the people reconsider your attitude to a waiting time trying it to pass faster, it is better to enjoy it then discount it, use it to do something really good for yourself and the family that you might not have a chance to do later if ever.

I find this harsh, depressing, slightly out-of-place and, sadly, more true than I would like.

It is hard to wait. But it is also hard to process bad news, and, no matter how much we might claim otherwise, the stress of waiting on a result isn't as bad as being confronted with a terrible reality. For people who have metastatic cancer, and have made whatever accommodations they can to regular doses of bad news and a problematic future, waiting can be an act of hope. The cancer rock has already fallen, so as long as you are waiting for a CT or MRI or whatever, your situation could be improving. When you get that report, though, the news is there. The result is the result. And, too often, the facts are worse than the fear.