Friday, December 19, 2008

Survivor

Insert your own Rocky/"Eye of the Tiger" joke here. I was going to, but, as it turns out, I got nothing.

Just a word. Below, I described Josh as a fellow "epithelioid sarcoma survivor." Writing that felt a little weird, actually -- I am sorry to say that adjectives like "sufferer" or "victim" make more emotional sense to me personally, but I didn't want to characterize another person's experience.

The truth is that a lot of cancer survivor culture pisses me off. I mean, I'm really glad if you've beaten cancer, and I can imagine the lingering dread, but I just can't feel too much of your pain; I only wish for a big hit of survivor angst. If that's a problem, give me problems.

A wise person I know, though, described a cancer survivor as anyone who is living with the disease. You don't have to have clear scans for X months or a great prognosis or whatever. I love the note of defiance and hard truth in that formulation, and I think I am going to strive to feel it. I'm a survivor.

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