Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The wit and wisdom of a naughty girl (part 3 of a 586-part series)

Little T. has a date.

This would be trouble in any case, being as she's not quite five, but it's even more problematic because she is having dinner tonight with her preschool teacher. They are going to sew a punching bag together. The idea is that "five is too old for tantrums," so they are going to make a ghost for T. to vent on. "I wouldn't want to hit anything nice," she said, filling me with relief.

This morning, discussion continued about the much-anticipated fifth-birthday festival due to begin this Friday. I came upstairs to help her get dressed and I heard a strange chant. 

"Bacon AND sausage! Bacon AND sausage!"

Like her brother, T. wants a birthday dinner comprising eggs, biscuits and a breakfast meat. Or, rather, in a departure from her less ambitious brother, two breakfast meats, hence the chant. When I arrived, she varied the theme, "Two meats! Two meats! Two meats!" The total ludicrousness of a little girl flopping around in her purple duck panties and refusing to move in hopes of a future double portion of saturated fat kind of tickled me, I have to admit. It quickly grew tiresome, however, especially as attempts at reason -- would you eat chicken nuggets and a cheeseburger? -- failed. Eventually she tired of the game and got dressed. I still don't know if we're having bacon or sausage.


Bill said...

bacon AND sausage. which word didn't you understand?

SG said...

Seriously, right? Part of me was thinking, "this is outrageous," and part of me was thinking, "bacon AND sausage, hmmm."